In honor of Father’s Day, we’re sharing the finest fatherly humor from our very own TDS associates.
For those unfamiliar with so-called dad jokes, they are riddles or statements that usually involve a silly quip or a deliberate misinterpretation of language sure to make a person roll their eyes or groan out loud when they hear it.
At TDS, one of our own network specialists started a Dad Jokes forum in 2017. The group now has hundreds of members.
“I figured everyone loves a good laugh and sometimes that’s just what’s needed to brighten the day a little,” he said, when asked about the driving force behind starting the group. “The page is dedicated to clean, work-appropriate humor.”
So as the nation celebrates fathers and father-figures, here are some of our top dad jokes from the past few months:
- I was intrigued by the latest extreme sport: blindfolded archery! You have no idea what you’re missing.
- My friend loaned me an audiobook, but I misplaced it. Now I’ll never hear the end of it.
- April is the National Procrastination Society’s annual meeting. The schedule is coming out soon.
- Customer: “I’d like to buy a bagel with cream cheese.” Cashier: “Sorry, we only accept cash or credit card.”
- I tell my family every morning I am going to go for a jog but I never do. It’s my running joke.
- Two slices of bread get married. It was a fantastic wedding and reception until someone decided to toast the bride and groom.
- So I was doing some baking, and the instructions said to turn the oven 180 degrees. Now I can’t get the door open.
- The other day, I saw an ad that said, “Radio for sale: $1. Volume stuck on full.” And I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
- How do you know when your clock is still hungry? It goes back four seconds.
- I just finished writing a book on penguins. In hindsight, it would have been easier to have used paper.
- How did the hacker escape the FBI? He ransomware.
- I told a joke during a Zoom meeting and no one laughed. Turns out, I’m not remotely funny.
- What do they call “Big Foot” in Europe? Big Meter.
- I used to be a big candy cane collector. It was great, they were all in mint condition.
- My dog swallowed up my entire bag of Scrabble tiles, so I took him to the vet to get him checked out. No word yet.
- Did you hear about the man who took an airline to court for misplacing his luggage? He lost his case.
- I figured out how to weigh a rainbow. It’s pretty light.
- Why did the chef not season the dish you ordered? She had a lack of thyme.
- Why do frogs hop around seemingly unbothered? Because they eat the things that bug them.
Remember, there’s a difference between bad jokes and dad jokes. And that difference is the first letter.
